Tuesday, November 27, 2007

You're Fat, You're Ugly, And You Have No Friends

You Are Fat


By that I really mean your blog. You have gorged on so many scripts and widgets that you can't even button the pants. And that belly button ring of a theme you have, while it might look good on some, on you, bottom line, it is still just stuck through a nasty bulging belly. That tattoo you thought was sexy has now grown to 10 times it's normal size like one of these little kid toys you stick in a bucket of water. Go on a diet already. Lose a couple scripts, drop a few widgets, and your blog won't be lying on the couch after three visitors wheezing and sweating profusely from over exertion.

You Are Ugly


Of course I'm not insulting you personally. Once again I am referencing your blog. Well isn't beauty in the eye of the beholder? Yep and I am beholding your ugly -ss blog. That is not to say you don't think mine is just as homely. I like to think of my blog as if it were a supermodel. Hot as hell, but she has cellulite, wrinkles, a flat -ss, flat chest, no hips, or any number of imperfections like the rest. Nobody is perfect and no blog is perfect either. Don't despair about your blog though because even Rosie O'Donnel gets a girl every once in a while. Ummm...sorry I just gagged... Remember get opinions of other bloggers and your readers about your blog appearance. Solicit honest critique and advice.

You Have No Friends


How would I know right? Well your blog stats are there for all to see. And they tell me you have no friends. No one likes you just deal with it. You are a loser baby. Wait! don't euthanize your blog just yet. Blogging HeyZeus loves you and that at least counts for something.

Okay well after all of that the point is for all of us to take a look at our blog from a readers perspective. Solicit advice and suggestions from your readers about page layout, ad placement, color scheme, load time and more. You as the blog owner have the final say and you obviously have to be happy with the product. Ad placement though should ultimately be driven by the performance of the ad. You can't take into consideration every suggestion and some folks will never be happy anyway. Blogs evolve over time and you should alway be looking for ways to make yours better. Think about it, even blogs like John Chow.com and ProBlogger have had some pretty major overhauls as of late. Don't be afraid of taking an honest look in the mirror. What are some things you have done to improve your blog either drastically or incrementaly?

later all and have a profitable and productive blogging day

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